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Funny Jokes
 

Puppy
hi u all
i hv one puppy 4 u
1puppy 4 ur friend
1 puppy for ur fri ke fri
u know why???

because............

ajj hi meray dogi nay 10 puppies ko janam dia hai

 
 
Kaho Ik Din...Kaho Ik Din
Civic VTI jisai kehete ho wo gadi tumaree hai
Jisey nokia 6600 kehte ho wo cell tumhara hai
Jinhai tum aamon k baghat kehte ho woh baghain tumharee hain
Kaho ik di kaho ik din
Ager sab kuch ye mera hai to sab kuch dedo ik din
Gari apni mujhe tum dedo cell dedo doosrey din
merey hathon mai kaghzat rakh ker dafa ho ik din
Dafa ho ik din dafa ho ik din.....
 
 
Uncle Auntie
dabe mein daba dabe mein kharghosh,
uncle nae ankh mari anute behosh......:)
 
 
Zakaat
teen dost tha phalla patan dosra panjabe or tisra memon.Ramzan ka maina
tha dostoo na bolaa ka yar zakat dana ha too app log kasa datta ho.too
phala dost patan na bolla ka hum khali maidan ma za kar gol paira
banatha ha or asman ma paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa paira ka bhair zata ha
woo zakat kartta ha or zoo andar hotta ha woo humara hotta ha .fer
pajabe na bolla ka hum ak lakir kachtta ha or paisa ushal tha ha zoo paisa
left hand par zatta ha woo zakat kartta ha or zoo right hand par woo
humara.fer memon dost sa pucha ka woo kasa kartta ha too usna kaha ka
astag feroollha app log assa zakat kartta ho yea lakir fakir keya ha hum
khali maidan ma zatta ha or asman ma husal tha ha zoo paisa asman ma
gheya woo zakat ka or zoo paisa necha aaya woo humara.
 
 
I Love U
I love u, I love u, I love u, I love u, I love u, I love u, I love u.
Hey! Don''t get excited,
I love other alphabets too... v, w, x, y, z !
 
 
Mental Doctor
AIK ADMI LANGRAATA HOA AATA HAY USSE DEKH KAR DO DOCTOR AAPAS MAY
JHAGAR TEAN HAY AIK KEHTA HAY K US KI HADDI TOTH GAI HAI DOSRA BOLTA HAI K
NAHI US KA ANGOTHA NIKAL GAYA HAI DONOON ME KAFI BEHAS HO RAHI HOTI HAI TO
TISRA DOCTOR BOLTA HAI CHALO US SAY HI POCH LAETEY HAIN USSAY POCH TAY HAIN TO
WO BOLATA HAI NAHI NA MERA TO CHAPL TOTA HAY;) HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!

 
 
 
Tere Naam
ADMI NAAI SE MERI TERE NAAM WALI CUTTING KAR DO.
NAAI USKI TIND KAR DETA HAI
ADMI GHUSSAY SE YE KYA KIYA HAI ???
NAAI MAIN KYA KAROON MAIN NE DEKHI HI END SE HAI.
 
 
Sirdar Jee
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
 
 
A Few Good Lawyers
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he
feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
 
 
Lawyer
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
 
Ghayal
Safed saari par jab tum laalbindi lagati ho
khuda ki kasam ambulance nazar aati ho
farq sirf itna hai ke wo ghayal ko le jati hai
or tum ghayal kar jati ho ;)
 
Pathan (Chawal)
janab patan: eak dookan per jata hai aor kata hai40 wala chawal hai.
dukan daar: je hai
janab patan:eak kulo dado
dukan daar: je janab
janab patan : 40 wala chawal kitna ka diya hai.
 
 
Aag Per Qabu
Aik haseen-o-jameel adaakara ke ghar aag lag gaee ..aag par qabu panay
main 10 minut lagay.....aor.......aag bujhany walon per qabu panay main
40 minut lagay
 
Great Reply
Aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par phool daal raha hota he
Aur brabar men bhi aik aadmi apne dost ki qabar par chawal daal raha hota he.
Pehla Aadmi doosre se kehta he " Ye tumhara dost phool sunghne kab uthe ga?"
Doosra dost:"Jab tumhara dost chawal khane uthe ga
 
 
Jhoot
uncle aik bachay se kehte hain : beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe
pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga
bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!
 
 
Khandaani Herkatain
aik dost dosray se : yaar har party mien tum yehi kurta kyun pehantay ho
dosra dost : kyun ke yeh mera khandani kurta hai mere par dada ne pehna
phir dada ne pehna phir mere walid ne pehna iss liye main bhi pehanta hoon
pehla dost : ohh acha .. khier yeh batao k tumhari umar hogai hai shadi
ki tum kartay kyun nahi ..kya koi larki pasand nahi ati
dosra dost : nahi yaar larkiyaan to bohat pasand ati hain
pehla dost : to phir kyun nahi kartay
dosra dost : yaar mere par dada ne nahi ki dada ne nahi ki mere walid
ne nahi ki to phir main kaise karloon ??
 
 
Ticket
Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket. 'Ek Punjab Mail dena.'
the second man asked & was handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!'
'What do u mean by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh
 
Sardaar Jee
Do sardar jee motor cycle per bomblay kar jarahay thay,
Rastay main speed breaker ki waja say jhatkay lag rahay thay,
Sardar jee ka dost bola yaar aaram say gari chalao kahi bomb na phatjain,
Sardar jee...Oo tussi fiker hi naker assi kay pass dosra bhi tu bomb hay. :)
 
 
Upper
aik sharabi raatkay waqat apnay dost kay sath jaraha hota hay. rastay
main talab per nazar parhti hay tu us main us ko chand dikhta hay woh apny dost say
kahta hay yaar ye kia hay.dost kehta hay chand hay. sharabi hairan ho ker
yaar hum log itnay upper aagaiy ;)
 
 
Love
love is heat
but very sweat
four lips meet
love is complete
 
 
Sardaar The Best
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner. Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
 
 
Sardar The gr8
A sardar calls another sardar on the phone & says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain,Ithe bhi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
 
 
Break Nahi Maar Sakty Thy ???
Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty howe kahin ja raha tha rasty mein ek Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli "Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? "
Pathan herat se... "Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."
 
Purana Maal
Burhiya:Aray dekho iss kambakhat maare ko mere sath larki ja rahi he
osse nahi dekh raha kab se mujhe taare chala ja ria he...!

Aadmi:Aray..! amma darasal ye kabaria he purana maal dekh raha he.

 
Dimples
Ustaad: Bete, aap jab hanste hen to aap ke dimples parte hen aap bohat
ache lagte hen dil chahta he aap ko piyar karloon.

Bacha: Sir, mujhse ziyada dimple to mere ammi ke parte hen.

 
Naak
Aik lerki apny boy friend k sath nai garri main long drive par ja rahi thi
achanak larki kehnay lagi.....suno !
kia tum aik haath se garri chala saktay ho ?
kioon nahi.....larkay ne bare fakher se garden akraaii...
larki ne aahista se kaha..........
"to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo "
 
Machiss
Sardar : Apne bete se bola, Bevakuf...kaisa machis leke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.
 
 
Blood Group
Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
 
 
Surprise
Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."
Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usey SURPRISE doonga..!"
 
 
Yaad
HUM NEY UN KI YAAD MAIN RO RO KAR MATKEY BHAR DIYE
WO BEWAFA AYE AUR NAHA KAR CHAL DIYE
 
Sanam
Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam ..
 
Scene
Tujh bin zindagi ka tasawar hi nehi hai ,
Tere sang ho zindagi aisa bi koi scene nehi hai
 
 
Haseen
Iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho
 
 
Dar
rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum
 
 
Ziadtee
kal raat machar ne kata mere chehre par,
dil mien junoon tha...aankhoon mien khoon tha,
uthaya ussay masal dene k liye par khayal aya,
kambakht mien apna hi khoon tha
 
 

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